this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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