so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
