It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
