You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
