I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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