do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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