There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
