So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
