Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i out mim tonsoeep
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