god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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