Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
