remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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