Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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