If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
