Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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