just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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