It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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