Who did Billy Mays play for?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My ATM looks so different sober.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well I just put wine in my tea
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
