girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
