This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
