i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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