I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Girls should come with a carfax report
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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