i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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