she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
