So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
