You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
