just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize