hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
