My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
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