She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
