She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
