i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i believe in u and ur pee
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
