Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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