I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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