Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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