Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
