Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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