No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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