one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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