Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
