The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
She announced her abortion via fbk
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
