i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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