im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
