I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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