Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
