Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
