OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
