i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
