where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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