So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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