And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
