Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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