Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
God, I missed his penis.
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