Your mouth is God's brothel.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Alive.
So much puke
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize