I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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