cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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