I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
