She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
