come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
