What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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