if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
