I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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