hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
