watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
