Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
