i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
