dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
