2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
