OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
