I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize