Don't you send me to vm
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just threw up on my dentist
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
