There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
